Fck YOU

I'm Creating My Own Maddness.

It's driving me crazy to say the least. I'm reaching my limit. I never thought it'd end up getting this far, but there's a first for everything. I have a tendency of screwing things up more then I tend to help. Which, in my case, isn't for the best. I nearly lost a friendship to my own mistake. Luckily, I saved it in time. I never thought that I was able to get something back like that, but things suprised me.
Life's holding a weight down on me. One I can't seem to lift. I'm probably doing a better job of hiding + faking then I am holding myself together. If that makes any sense. I don't believe someone can truely understand what you're going through, unless they've been there themselves. It's all about experience. I don't think you can fully judge unless you've met/or had that experience. You can't put in your "common" sense of what you think of the situation and act like you know what's going on and what you're talking about.
So father, fcuk off kay? I'm tired of you telling me how I'm feeling and what I think and know. You don't know a thing about me and how I feel. Frankly sweetheart, you can't last a day in my shoes with what I deal with and hold in. So stop saying you know fckin everything kay? I'm not you're rag doll, and I'm not your toy. Stop putting all your problems on me and then blaming me for them. first off, I don't even know about half the shitt you tell me or say, and second of all, I don't really give a damn. I've got me own life to deal with, and I won't let you fck it up with your selfishness. So grow up!! Stop acting like you're the only one who has problems, and be the 53 yr old you "supposedly" are. Seriously, I'm through with your mind games and how you treat me. I'm telling you once and for all, you can't hold down or break a person who thinks nothing of you.I may only be 17, but I've gone through more in these past few years, then you have in your whole life! You always look out for yourself, but you don't care a damn about others. I'm sick of how you putt things aside to fullfil your self, even at the cost of hurting the ones closest to you. Fine, that's your life, but don't make it mind kay? I'm through with you and how you treat me. I have one more year til I'm legal, and able to move out and no longer be under your "know how." Don't expect me to care about you anymore. The distance between us now is far more then a lifetime could mend. You've said I've changed? Look at yourself. You're more controlling and selfabsorbed then I remember as a child. Don't blame me for your faults and mistakes. I won't take responsiblity for them. Move on and let go. Like you always tell me. Seriously, you're not half of the man you make yourself out to be. So STFU!